Clay

Break me and shape me
Move me and shake me
Tear me down to build me up again
Too hard and I crumble
Too soft and I stumble
Mold me with your loving hands


Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
Isaiah 64:8

Shed a Little Light

I attended the funeral of a woman today whom I did not know very well personally. We'd met several times at networking functions, and I was instantly impressed by her warm presence and ability to really look someone in the eye. She was a pillar of the community and a dear friend to many of my friends and colleagues.

I can honestly say it was one of the most beautiful services I'd ever been to. No generic accolades or vague terms of endearment. This was a woman who'd truly touched people.

As stories were told of her enduring nature and generous heart, I couldn't help but focus on the large pillar candles flickering on the alter. I began to wonder about my own legacy. What will be said at my funeral? Will I be known as someone who only looked out for myself, or someone who tried to "shed a little light"?

I think most of us live life trying to protect our own flame. We guard and protect the fire within us, and when it's snuffed out, all that's left behind is a darkened void. Fortunately, there are individuals who spend their lives reaching out to others, and igniting their inner spark. They move through life with compassion and kindness, and never keep their light to themselves.

And when their flame is extinguished, even unexpectedly and prematurely, their fire continues to glow in the friends and family they've left behind--and I really don't think there's a better way to shed a little light than that.

All dogs go to...

2007: The day we brought Brady (left) home from the shelter
to be a friend to Morgan (right).

"Where's Brady?"

It's a question I dread having to answer. What do I say? How do I tell my two year old one of her "puppies" got ran over? Do I just tell her the truth?

Do I tell her he went to live with Jesus? Even as I type that I snicker, thinking of Brady tearing through doggy heaven, knocking things over, splashing through any water he could find, and wallowing in heavenly cow dung. (Yes, he had an addiction to rolling in bovine poo, although in heaven it probably wouldn't smell bad.)

If I'm being honest, I have to admit Brady was often a pain. We brought him home from the Humane Society in the spring of 2007, and the first thing he did was fling our rug across the living room, bark nonstop at the TV, smoke detector and any other object he didn't recognize, and pee on our couch in the basement. Needless to say, we didn't get off to a good start.

But I believed in Brady. I knew that under that bumbling, hyper, furry exterior was a sweet, loyal dog. And I was right. He was the perfect cuddle companion while I was recovering from surgery after losing our baby in 2008. He also had a fierce side, which he only let come out when I felt threatened by someone while taking him for a walk. And he was the perfect sidekick for our first-born fur baby Morgan.

I'm sure if Morgan could talk she would ask about Brady, too. And I suppose I could tell both her and Anna the truth. I can't be sure of where dogs go after they die, so I could tell them, "He's down at the creek." Because somewhere, in some distant place, he probably is. We'll miss you Bubba.

New Mom No-Nos: Things Not to Say to or Ask a New Mom

See? I told you she was cute!

Ten weeks ago I gave birth to a delightful baby girl named Erica June. Double motherhood is exhausting, but she's totally worth it.

I'm not sure if I didn't notice it as much the first time around, or if I was even more sleep deprived than I am this time, but people say annoying/insulting/ignorant things to new moms! I'm sure they're well meaning, but I thought I would come up with a list of things you probably shouldn't say to or ask a new mom (unless you're just feeling mean spirited).

1. Is he/she sleeping through the night?
Um, just look at these dark circles under my eyes. And the fact that I just swerved into that wall while walking down the hallway. Do I look like I'm getting sleep to you? Do I?! Sorry, I'm just a little on edge.

2. Are you breastfeeding?
Nonya business. Unless you're my doctor, or another new/soon-to-be mom looking for support, this isn't really necessary for you to know. If breastfeeding is going well, awesome. If not, you're likely to cause feelings of anxiety or guilt.

3. It looks like you've lost almost all of your pregnancy weight.
Nice try. The key word there is almost. Please don't remind me of the 15-20-25 pounds I have left to lose. Instead, just say "you look great."

4. Are you planning to have another?
For pete's sake, this one's still hot out of the oven! And besides, until she's sleeping through the night, I'm done breastfeeding, and I've lost those last pregnancy pounds, I probably won't be engaging in any activities that could put me in that condition again.

So there you have it. Next time you run into an acquaintance who just had a baby, simply say "your baby is beautiful and so are you." You really can't go wrong with that.

Dear Erica June

I hope you know how much I love you. I didn't really sing to you, talk to you, or obsess over nursery details for you. I've talked about you a lot, though. I've told your big sister over and over how much you love her, and how much she's going to love you. I've taken my prenatals religiously, and made sure to eat as healthy as possible. I've gone to all of the doctor appointments, followed directions, and now we're just waiting.

Waiting to meet you. Waiting to begin our life together as a family of four.

We probably won't take as many pictures of you, or scramble for the video camera at your every single move. But you know what? We don't love you any less. We're just more relaxed now, and I think we'll enjoy your infancy a little more.

You won't come home to a fancy house, or even a relatively clean one for that matter. Sometimes, things are pretty chaotic around here. But it's warm and absolutely full of love (and a generous amount of laughter).

I hope your big sister treats you well. I'll try to keep her from picking on you when I'm not looking, cutting your hair, telling you scary stories and otherwise doing what older siblings do. But then again, that's what memories are made from.

So, whenever you're ready, so are we. Of course, after all of that, you're probably a little scared to come out. I can't blame you. :-)

Elmo Nation

Around here, unless you're three foot tall, covered in red fur, and giggle like a friendly hyena, you won't get much attention. Apparently, carrying a child for nine months and forgoing precious hours of sleep to feed, rock and soothe her doesn't account for much when compared to the infectious antics of an exuberant little monster...Elmo.

My kid loves Elmo. I mean loooooves Elmo. It's crazy. She's only 16 months old! She pines away for him with a cutely pathetic little whine, "Elmo...Elmooo." She anxiously points at the computer screen, wanting me to pull up sesamestreet.com. I know it's my own fault. Obviously, I exposed her to his "furness," but I had no idea it would go this far.

So who is Elmo, exactly? Born in 1979, his original name was "Little Monster." It wasn't until 1985 that he developed his current persona, when Muppeteer Kevin Clash began playing the role. He's even written a book about his "Life as a Furry Red Monster."

 So what's your take on Sir Elmo? Personally, I like him, despite my daughter's unhealthy obsession. I particularly like Adam Sandler's take:

The Sexy Side of Sears?

As a side effect of my work with Girl Scouts of Kansas Heartland to promote healthy media images for girls (which you can read about here) I've become more sensitive and aware of just how far advertisers are willing to go to sell their products to young girls.

Take this ad from Sears, for example. It clearly states who the intended target audience is: girls who wear "junior" sized clothing. Now some may argue that girls in their late teens and early twenties (and beyond, but that's another issue) wear junior clothing, so this ad may not be inappropriate.

But for those of you with tween daughters, you know that this is the image they look up to. While you're browsing through the children's section, they're stealing glances at the juniors section, with the low-cut, painted on jeans and t-shirts emblazoned with "Flirt" and "Delicious." (By the way, I'm putting my daughter in a bubble, so we'll never have to deal with this.) Suzanne Tobias wrote a great article about this for the Wichita Eagle. You can read it here.

And who is this model, by the way? Audrina Patridge. Who? Ok, ok I am out of the loop. She made her acting debut on the MTV reality show, The Hills, and has recently posed on the cover of Maxim, which you can see here (warning, this is Maxim we're talking about here people, so be warned!).

So, Mr. or Mrs. advertiser, you're showcasing a reality TV star and Maxim cover model to sell our young daughters your jeans? And if you have any doubt about who their target audience is, check out the next page, where they show their "5 fab fits" on a young (maybe 15?), fresh-faced model.

We all know that "sex sells," but are we really ok with that? Especially when it's being pushed at our children?

I recommend checking out this documentary by former super model Nicole Clark, called "Cover Girl Culture." It was a real eye-opener.